The Exquisite Mystery of Lifelong Friendship

Halfway through my first day of high school, at the tender age of 14, frightened and overwhelmed by my own small feelings, I was ripped away from them when a slender hand slipped a note onto my desk during English class.  I looked up to see a beautiful stranger attached to the hand.  The note said, "I like your laugh."

From that day forward, the presence of Vivian George in my life continues to uplift and inspire me.  Even when she is away, in my heart, she is my confidante, and I speak to her often.  With the spirit of her presence in my life, when we are able to get together, as we have not lived in the same state for almost four decades, it is like we never left each others' side.  We immediately pick up where we left off and each leave the encounter re-energized and inspired. 

There is a mystery here about spiritual intimacy that cannot be denied.  We have allowed it since our paths combined.  Over the years, we cultivate it, appreciate it, marvel at it.  There are times we include it in our life’s work.  She makes an appearance in my first novel, Remember Me as the recipient of the main character's letters, acting as a mirror character.  Her wedding gift to me, a painting, is now included on her website:  viviangeorge.net

Someday, I hope to include myself in her Tuscany Workshop, but unfortunately, not this year.  Here are the details for anyone interested.  Believe me, you will be transformed:

The Inspiration of Art

A Painting Workshop In Tuscany with Vivian George MFA

Dates: May 21 - 31, 2011

Colorado artist Vivian George finds her inspiration in nature. "Nature has all the components that are in painting - rhythm, color and harmony. Individually and together plant forms show energy and light, texture and pattern, repetition and color; and when confined to the flat, square format, their geometry is revealed," she explains. In this workshop, Vivian works with each participant individually to find his or her vision. The colors of the late afternoon sun on the olive grove, the repeating patterns of a hillside vineyard or the symmetry of a narrow drive bordered by native cypress . . . each person's view is different and leads to a unique interpretation.

Artwork by Vivian George.   Many thanks.

The Setting of Emotional Turbulence in Remember Me

Linda said...

In your book Remember Me, the character Mary Margaret goes through alot in her life, and I don't understand why she gives up in the end. It seems like she's smart, but she doesn't "get it." I just wanted to smack her and say, "wake up!"

Thanks for the great question, Linda.  During my own divorce in '95, I watched many families struggle with the family court system.  If people cannot agree, the cases go on and on, family resources are depleted, and when domestic violence is present, it is often exacerbated because the inept system is used as a weapon of abuse.  

In researching for the book, I spent a great deal of time interviewing family members in divorce and family court, and heard countless stories of suicide, hopelessness and despair.  I felt there was an important statement to be made, and that we can do better with our laws and in our courts for families in these situations. I also spent a great deal of time consulting with psychologists and therapists on the subject, and on how to develop a character that would eventually succumb to despair.  

While half way through my second novel, I was inspired to create a trilogy that would resurrect the Mary Margaret character from Remember Me, and redeem her.  I agree with you, she is smart and has many possibilities before her, but in Remember Me she also is trapped in a mindset of worthlessness that family violence reinforces for her.  It seems to me a slap would be just another slap to her, as it is to many men and women caught in the web of domestic abuse that our current societal norms and laws support by inadequate court action and looking the other way.

Your good question, Linda, leads me to one of my own.  At what point in our lives to we begin to examine and understand our emotions, what role they play in our lives, and how they enrich or limit us?

Beauty as the Path to Inspiration

Sioban said...
This is an interesting post. In your books, do you connect beauty and inspiration?

Thank you, for the wonderful question, Sioban. I do think that when we allow ourselves to contemplate the beautiful, we are taking ourselves to the state of connection with spirit. This is a sure and easy path to allow ourselves to feel connected to everything and all that is, which is our God nature. Sustaining this state of awareness puts us in a place to receive inspiration, starts the creative juices flowing. When we are connected to all of creation, we become creation and are moved to express creatively.

I think that usually my poems express a state where everything is coming together into such a flow. My trilogy of novels also, follows the main character as she is able to appreciate and express this more and more until finally, she is living from it. Byron’s “she walks in beauty like the night” is the perfect example of a character that learns to live as the creative force, in a state of inspiration. My third novel, Shadow Dancing, portrays the main character moving beyond her own shadow to fully embrace her own beauty and live from it. Seen from the broad pallet of the trilogy of novels, this character has come a long way from allowing life to happen to her, to creating a life expressed as her own highest potential.

The Death of a Character Gives Life New Meaning

Jim said...

I finally got around to reading your book, remember me, something I've been meaning to do for awhile. One question, why did you kill of your main character?

This is a great question, Jim, thanks for asking it. The Mary Margaret character in Remember Me died for reasons intrinsic to both the story of Remember Me and to the larger story of my trilogy of novels. Each of my three novels examines love and loss from different viewpoints, and all three together examine love, life and death, as they fundamentally effect our experience.

Because Remember Me was written as a plea for reform in US family courts, it was important for the main character to die because each year, thousands of people take their own lives or have their lives taken as a result of the ineptitude of the US family court system. To research my book, I spent countless hours in family court, listening to these stories and interviewing litigants. There is an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness in domestic violence cases because weak laws, inexperienced State's Attorneys, and burned out judges allow cases to go unresolved or perpetrators to go free, empowered to continue the violence. The death of this character and destruction of this family was a common story in US family court.

Looking at the larger canvas of the trilogy, on the journey of the spirit, the death of the ego is the first step to be taken toward enlightenment. Some say, for instance, that the Tibetan Book of the Dead is actually a manual for ego death. The Mary Margaret character in Remember Me never catches on to this process as she cannot let go of her egotistical concerns, and suffers her losses, defining herself with loss and pain. Because this is a dead end for a journey of the spirit, her death frees her spirit to begin again.

In the second novel, Chasing Twilight, the character is resurrected, and begins to understand the importance of ego death and resurrection of being – or consciousness raising. So, her journey can continue and the concept of death takes on new meaning. With death, comes rebirth and the cycle of life is felt in the soul.

This will bring up interesting questions in the third novel, Shadow Dancing: What is death? What parts of us die while we live? How is this integral to being and becoming?

I sincerely hope you enjoy the stories and the concepts. Thanks again.

Artwork by Moira Marshall Many thanks.

Recognizing Emotions and Feelings

Morgan said...

I have given this some thought. I think I understand what you say about negative emotions that keep us from finding any happiness. But I don't quite get what you think about the difference between emotion and feeling. Please explain. Thanks.

Thanks for the thoughtful question, Morgan. I think the words feeling and emotion are often used interchangeably, but I am convinced that there is a distinct and profound difference. Gregg Braden tells us that prayer consists of thoughts, coming from the crown, brow and throat chakras - and feelings coming from the base, sacral and solar plexus chakras - into the heart. I think that this feeling that moves through us is the energy that moves through the matrix of our being that we can FEEL. By remembering the feeling, we can move energy through our system. If we are feeling low, we can imagine feeling joy, and our energy will rise to the feeling of joy. By understanding our feelings like this, we learn to command our energies and can heal our bodies and raise our consciousness.

Emotions, on the other hand, are like feelings because we feel them too. But they are responses of our emotional body to events in our experience. If we lack emotional body maturity, our emotions can be based on patterns of previous experience. We feel fear when our hand is near fire because our hand has been burned before. When we are young, our emotions occur naturally, like the physical body functions of breathing and digesting. As our emotional body matures, we understand that the emotions that occur naturally can be changed by the way we formulate our responses or even our perceptions. We can choose to feel caution instead of fear. We can perceive fire as a thing of beauty instead of danger, because we have learned to respond appropriately.

In my first novel, Remember Me, Mary Margaret comes close to understanding the nature of her emotions and feelings, but in the end, is overwhelmed with loss and grief. In my second novel, Chasing Twilight, Molly has the emotional body maturity to not only pace her emotions, but utilize her feelings for healing and consciousness raising. This character will go on to explore the possibilities that feelings allow in the third novel.

Thanks again for this great question, Morgan.

Developing Timeless Characters

Blythe said...

Why did you choose for the love interest in Chasing Twilight to be a Scientologist? Was this character taken from real life or did you write his as a Scientologist for a different reason?

This is a great question, Blythe, thanks for asking. How do we create our characters when we write? There are probably as many answers to this question as there are fiction authors. Part of my research for my first novel, Remember Me, was to work with a psychotherapist, who gave me wonderful suggestions as to how to base a character on my personal experience, and yet give it a separate personality that would be congruent with the outcome of the story. In Remember Me, the Mary Margaret character gives up on life. I had to create character traits and behaviors for her that would ultimately lead her in that direction.

For the second novel in my trilogy, Chasing Twilight, the love interest or anti-hero is a Scientologist so that the main character has someone who can understand her spiritual quest. The book is a dialogue between two people, and through the dialogue, the plot of the story and development of the characters are revealed. I chose Scientology because it has a new age, yet rigid doctrine and could provide some resonance, yet stark difference for the main character who believes only in the golden thread of truth that runs through all.

I did quite a bit of research into Scientology, reading and interviews, to build this character. I worked very hard to portray this character as an anti hero in the true sense, not as a villain. The constraints of his character are reflected in his passive aggressive attempts to control the relationship. The value of the faith of Scientology itself is never brought into question, but the main character does present some challenges and is answered, providing an interesting Q&A. I found it to be and extremely effective tool. Thanks again, Blythe. Molly Brogan

Artwork by Cindy Hesse Many thanks.

One Journey, Three Novels

Linda said...

How about the second novel, Chasing Twilight - what part does shadow play with these characters? Their emotions are so intense. And what about all three books together? Do they all relate to each other in terms of shadow?

Thanks for the question, Linda. In Chasing Twilight, the characters have evolved in their recognition of their shadow aspects. Molly does some wonderful shadow transformation, not only when it comes up in the love relationship, but in her past life regression sessions. However, her lover, the Scientologist, will not acknowledge his shadow behavior, as he is unwilling to give up his attempt to control outcome. This shatters the sacred space which requires honesty, appreciation and psychological safety for the relationship to flourish. Molly is, however, able to recognize this and move on.

Shadow transformation can be very intense and takes a great deal of courage. Since this post, I have had several folks tell me that most people don't live like this or understand themselves this way. I think that more and more, we do.

The trilogy of novels is a journey of spirit for one woman, so yes, quite naturally, her ability to integrate her shadow is reflected in the stories of each book. When the novels are read in succession, I hope you can see her process and triumph. Molly Brogan

Personal Mythology Expressed in Dream

Callie said...
One of the things I like most about Remember Me is the dream diary. Does this have anything to do with shadow?

This is a great question, Callie. In Remember Me, Mary Margaret takes the wonderful first step necessary in understanding her dreams at a very early age. She begins a dream journal at the suggestion of her mother, who does not want to have to hear about them anymore. This is significant to the character because while it gives Mary Margaret a place to record and examine her dreams, she is also given the message that they are not worth attention. So, throughout her life, she records her dreams, but does little interpretation or integration of the dreaming process.

I see our sleep time as a time for our body-soul-spirit to relate in ways unfettered by conscious constructs. Vivid dreaming, creative dreaming, and dream analysis are all wonderful processes wherein our soul speaks to our mind and spirit in ways that allow our conscious, continual becoming. The spoken language here is symbols, devices by which ideas often too complex or highly charged to articulate in ordinary language are transmitted. Developing a personal mythology of dream symbols involves using a body of personal myths to form a system for organizing one's conception of reality and guiding day-to-day behavior. Mary Margaret’s soul was instructing her to examine shadow through her dreams, she did not understand because she never learns the language.

Writing the dream journal in Remember Me was like writing a novel within a novel. I began by establishing symbols that were related to Mary Margaret’s current age and daily events, but also her collective unconscious. I then developed the symbols in her dreams to speak to her of life unfolding – trying always to guide her into becoming through soul. It was one of my favorite parts of writing the book and you may see this device used again sometime in the future! Dreaming, and all it can offer us, is a true joy for me! Thanks for asking.

Heroes, Villains and Rudolph Steiner

Linda said...
Can you tell me about "the Opposing Spiritual Powers," and how they are like anti-heros?

Thanks for the question, Linda. I should preface the answer by saying that I have read the Rudolph Steiner teachings for several years now and find them to be mythical and complicated. I feel that whatever organization there is to life is much, much simpler, but I do admire some of his concepts. One of my favorite is his idea that humanity has a soul that influences and evolves along with our individual souls, much like CG Jung’s collective unconsciousness. Another is that our awareness unfolds, and humanity evolves due largely to the interplay of opposing forces (the tree of knowledge or good and evil.) The Steiner teachings tell us that in the course of human history, three specific opposing forces have provided our common soul and individual souls with opposition to our perfect nature (the Christ impulse) or the God within us. The dynamic of these forces are such that either we transcend the opposition and realize freedom by reconciling the forces (transcending duality) or we continue to battle.

Lucifer was the first, providing our natural, darker side. He is closely linked to nature and the mechanics of human nature so that the opposition he presents are storms or plagues or the fall of an civilization or the domination of our ego nature. His gift to humanity was free will, obtained in the choice to realize the Christ impulse and to transcend.

Ahriman was the second. His influence was first felt about 4M years ago and is still present today. He is associated with technology and materialism and prevents us from not seeing through the material to the spirit. He is also closely linked to the laws of karma, and keeps us from understanding the process of our freedom from karmic debt. But once the Ahrimanic forces have been reconciled, and we are free from karmic debt, we enter the age of Azuras. The Steiner teachings tell us that humanity is just beginning to enter this age but is still primarily ruled by Ahriman.

Not much is written on the Azuras and to research, I joined the Steiner library in New York, and read several of his books and lectures that hadn’t been taken out of the library in decades. I also joined Steiner discussion groups all over the world, talking to folks who had their own ideas about where Steiner was going with this. The forces of Azuras distract us into looking away from spirituality and convince us that our material experience is reality, not a reflection of our conscious awareness. It tricks us out of taking our objective into the subjective and becoming the creator with it, and believing the reverse is true. The Azuras has both the natural quality of Lucifer and the Ahrimanic qualities of technology and materialism. There is a bit written and much discussed about Steiner’s notion that once we give any part of ourselves to the Azuras, it can never be recovered. My (controversial) belief was that Steiner understood that once we transcend duality, mind and soul (karma), our lives and the formation of our experience is more immediately effected by universal laws. Once we consciously understand how to reconcile the opposition and realize our connection with all of life, we are distracted less easily even though the distractions become more dramatic. Ken Wilber would say it hurts more but we suffer less after the One Taste.

It’s easy to see how these opposing forces can be used as the hero/anti hero of a novel. I develop the characters of the three anti heros in my trilogy to reflect the nature of Steiner’s opposing forces. This allows me to develop the character of the heroine along a natural line of spiritual development, learning to release her karmic debt and move into a more harmonious storyline. And who doesn’t love a happy ending?

Dreams as expressions of soul and spirit

Kim said...
I very much enjoyed the dream journal entries in Remember Me. It seemed to me that Mary's dreams changed as she aged, the way an adult dreams differently than a child. How did you develop the dream journal for this character?

Thanks for your post, Kim. I liked it so much I thought it would make a great stand alone discussion. I did indeed develop the dream journal entries like a story of their own, that might reveal the maturation process and character of Mary. There are many theories about what our dreams might mean. I do think that we have many different kinds of dreams and that dreaming serves a function in our expression and development.

Like Jung, I think that sometimes our dreams can form around symbols that mean more to our soul or spirit than they do to our conscious mind. I tried to develop these symbols in the dreams throughout Mary's life to tell us the story of how her soul cried out for recognition and freedom. Mary's inability to recognize this contributed to her confusion and demise. She was not self aware enough to see the patterns in these symbols or look within herself for the direction they might give her. Her dream journal habit was, to her, like an exercise for the physical body that does not include the Zen for the rest of her. All parts of ourselves need to be communicating and integrated, and here she fell short.

Thanks again for this insightful question. Molly Brogan

Discussion of Remember Me in response to Fred

Hi Molly,I read your first novel, Remember Me. Having been through a divorce, I was struck by the realism of the story. Was it taken from your own life?

Hi Fred,
Thanks so much for your comments. I think all writers pull at least some of their work from their experience. I am no exception. However, I researched extensively for this book while sitting in divorce and family courts, talking to people with cases being heard. I was there so often listening to peoples' stories that many of the attorneys and police officers that worked in the courthouse thought that I was an attorney!

One of the things that struck me in my discussions, and prompted the idea for this book, was the hopelessness sometimes felt when families going through divorce cannot get resolution from the court process. If these folks could agree, most of them wouldn't need to be in court. And yet so often, the court is reluctant to rule and instead insists on numerous court appearances, hoping that the divorcing parties will come to agreement in the mean time. It was this stasis that seemed to create some of the stories of suicide and domestic violence that this book was based upon. I'm not an attorney and not sure what the answers are. But I thought that presenting the problems in this form was very important. Thanks for asking.

Very truly yours,
Molly Brogan

Discussion of PD's comment on Rudolph Steiner

PD said...
Hi Molly. I see by your company webpage that you, like me, are a student of Rudolph Steiner. Do you use the ideas of Anthroposophy in your books?

Dear pd,
It is always great to meet someone who has an understanding of the Steiner teachings. They certainly can take a lifetime to study. As a matter of fact, I incorporate these ideas into my writing in a number of ways. The most obvious, is my creation of each anti-hero in my novels. Each is based on the characteristics of what Steiner would call the "opposing forces."

In Remember Me, the anti-hero, Bob, is motivated by his own primevil nature. His tempestuous personality driven by his darkest emotions create the opposing force most like Steiner's Luciferian forces. If the Mary Margaret character was better able to look inward for the answers to her problems, she would be better able to reconcile the conflict in her experience.

In Chasing Twilight, the anti-hero, Jake, is motivated by finances and technology. Even his Scientology beliefs are based in self will and control. In this, he represents Steiner's Ahrimanic forces. By embracing and releasing this relationship in grace, Molly can fully own her soul, release her karmic debt, and move into a direct relationship with spirit.

This is not easy to understand unless one has studied Steiner. I would love to discuss this with you further and invite you to email me directly. I know some other Steiner students in LA, Las Vegas and Switzerland who dialogue with me on Steiner. We would all enjoy your input.

Best Regards,
Molly Brogan